Disagreeable Musings
by phantom313
Summary: This is a short one shot about how I think Snape really feels about Harry, since we don't get much insight into Snape's real feelings about anything until the end of the series.


This is just a short one shot about how I think Snape really feels about Harry. Since the story isn't written from his point of view, his feelings are open for interpretation, and this is my interpretation.  
This is my first fanfiction ever so be gentle on me. I'm open for constructive criticism, but no flames please!  
Also, please note that I own nothing, or else I would not be working nor would I be taking out ridiculous amounts of loans to pay for college.

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As anyone who was so lucky as to meet the gifted potions master would guess, Severus Snape was most definitely not a morning person. In fact, he found mornings utterly intolerable until he had consumed at least two cups of very strong tea, which most of his students had come to learn the hard way by the end of their first year at Hogwarts. Therefore, because of his rather unpleasant disposition in the mornings, Snape was left to his own thoughts by his colleagues during the breakfasts he was required to attend as a part of his duties as Head of Slytherin. While the dour man usually enjoyed his few moments of peace before his day began, today his thoughts were interrupted by a mop of unruly black hair positioned at the far end of the Gryffindor table.

Normally, Severus would have done his best to completely ignore the irksome reminder of all of his troubles over the past six years. However, today there was something missing from his regular morning view. It seemed that today Potter was missing his two sidekicks. In fact, upon further inspection, it appeared that the sixth Weasley boy and Granger were sitting apart from their friend, closer to the front of the room, and periodically casting worried glances in his direction. Potter was oblivious to the attention, seemingly lost in his own angsty, teenaged thoughts.

Admittedly, this sight concerned Severus more than he would ever let anyone, especially the meddlesome Headmaster, know. Potter drowning in his emotions was quickly becoming a regular occurrence in school after the events at the Department of Mysteries last year. However, his friends were usually around to make sure he at least kept one foot grounded in reality. Severus supposed by the concerned expressions on his friends faces, though, that his exile was voluntary, and not of their doing.

Oh yes, it would shock quite a few people to learn that the resident Dungeon Bat was capable of feeling anything other than hatred for Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, the son of his childhood rival and the arch-enemy of his "master", the Dark Lord Voldemort. And Severus would agree that, on the one hand, Potter portrayed many of the attributes that Severus had despised about his father. He was reckless, jumping head-first into situations that often resulted in someone being hurt, as was demonstrated last year. He also did not put nearly enough effort into his school work, which could potentially save his life someday, instead preferring to spend his time playing Quidditch and causing mischief that Severus and the other professors continually had to clean up for him.

On the other hand though, while the boy was physically his father's double, he also exhibited many of his mother's finer traits. He was determined to the point of being down right stubborn to do what was right, which was most definitely not something he could have inherited from his arrogant father. He was also entirely too selfless, which was part of what enabled him to be so reckless in order to protect others, even those who had done nothing but wrong him in the past.

Yes, these were the characteristics that Harry had received from his mother, and that made it impossible for Severus to completely despise the boy.

Oh, he had tried for years to make himself feel proper resentment for the boy, going as far as to try and bait the boy into giving him more reasons to dislike him. And he guessed, on one level, that it had worked. Whenever he saw the boy, who was a splitting image of his father, it was impossible for him not to remember all of the torment he had endured in school at the hands of James Potter and his cronies. The boy's actions further reinforced Snape's conviction that he was purely his father's son, as it appeared that he would jump into ridiculous situations with little to no regard for the innocent lives he was putting at risk.

This was until Severus noticed his eyes though. They were the exact same shade of emerald green as his mother's and were filled with the same fiery passion that his dear Lily had exuded. This was when Snape would remember that this was the same boy who had battled a basilisk at just twelve years old in order to save his best friend's little sister from becoming yet another tragic story for the children to gossip about. He would remember that this boy purposely went to fight the Dark Lord, and had originally planned on going alone, in order to save the life of a godfather he had known for all of two years. This was also when he would remember that this is the same boy who had just lost his last surviving true family member, and was now floundering because of the loss.

And how Severus hated being reminded of these facts. He would have been much happier with his life had fate allowed him to believe Harry to be as self-centered and rude as his father had been. The mindless hatred would have been much less confusing than his current state of wanting to despise the boy but seeing too much of his mother in him to be able to fully dislike him.

Don't get him wrong, Severus far from liked the boy. In fact, Harry Potter was one of his all-time least favorite students. However, he was unable to hate the boy, because how could he hate something that reminded him so strongly of the woman he loved? Harry Potter was destined to forever be an enigma to him, the one puzzle that the brilliant Severus Snape would never be able to work out, and it thoroughly frustrated him. Severus disliked being beaten.

Just as he was contemplating this, Severus was rudely jerked out of his musings by the sound of hundreds of students simultaneously exiting the Great Hall and heading to their first class of the morning. Looking around, he realized that most of the other professors had already departed to go set up for their lessons, leaving Severus alone at the table with Filius, who had no classes this early and was therefore in no rush to leave his plate of toast. Turning back towards the students, Severus began to brace himself for the inevitable fight as he saw Potter and his godson heading towards the door at the same moment. Potter, who was still engrossed in his thoughts and wasn't paying attention to where he was walking, was on a collision course with Draco. Snape could easily tell that within the next few steps the two would collide and spark the next battle in their ongoing war.

The two had been even worse than usual this year, and the littlest things would send them tearing at each other's throats. This put Severus in the uncomfortable position of trying to protect them both from each other, as he had made and Unbreakable Vow to protect his godson, but had also sworn to Lily and Dumbledore that he would protect Potter at all costs, no matter how much he often resented the job. Why couldn't he have a simple life, one where he could read and brew potions in peace without fear of being killed at any moment?

As he predicted, the second the boys' shoulders met angry shouts erupted near the doors. And as Severus rushed from his seat to go break up the fight and deduct a ludicrous amount of house points from Gryffindor, he once again cursed Merlin for putting him in this position, wondering how he was going to survive long enough to protect either boy.

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I hope enjoyed it and thank you for taking the time to read!


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